One word, contemplative. That's what I view this experiment as. I call it an experiment because that's exactly what it is. Yes it's a project. Yes it's an assignment. But is that where I want the thought or emotion invested to stop? No. Like I stated in my blog entry, I like to expand upon my emotions. I need that stimulation and excitement of thinking and contemplating. I live life to understand it. Well thats exactly what I aim to discover with this experiment, a piece of the bigger puzzle I call my life. Over the past 2 years I have been very interested in self discovery. Basically a personal quest to find my identity not only as a person, but also as a designer. I've come to realize that there are two sides to me. A ying and yang of sorts. Everyone is somebody to someone else. I want to uncover the truth about how I'm perceived by people compared to how I believe I am presenting myself. Over the next couple of weeks I will be collecting 100 items that I believe represent me, my personality, beliefs, morals, etc. I'm also asking a collection of 10 very close friends, family members, and not so close acquaintences to collect 10 things each that they think represent me, my personality, beliefs, morals, etc. Brutal honesty is the key to the success of this experiment. I have an opportunity to really find out if I am who I say I am.
What I have established so far...I am my father. Through and through. I am embody so much of him in everything I do, and even though he doesn't have a creative bone in his body we are one in the same.
I am bullheaded. A trait that my father passed on to me. Or it could be because I'm a Taurean. It takes a lot for me to lose my temper, but when I do the horns come out.
I believe that life is one gigantic puzzle. But life doesn't exists on paper, it's not two dimensional. It's something physical, something that has substance. Something you can touch or be touched by. That's why I chose these 3D puzzle pieces.
I took this photo of a styrofoam cup I saw while on a walk. It was alone, dirty, scuffed around the edges, and just thrown out the window as trash. But even through all of that, it's brightness still shines through. I feel like this about mine and my mothers relationship. When she divorced my father and moved away, she did the same thing to me as someone did to this cup. But after all was and is still said and done, I'm still shining, alone, a bit dirty and scuffed around the edges.
I try to be Superman to everyone and everything. I take on way too much. Try to please everyone at the same time. I feel like the weight of the world is always on my shoulders, always in my hands. Even though I can handle most anything in this world, even Superman has his Kryptonite. Mine is my heart.
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