Accumulation Project: Me vs. myself

Changing thoughts:
I think in the beginning of this project, I was very gung ho about everything. But as the semester waned on so did the project. It became almost a burden to be forced to collect things. I don’t like being forced to do anything. At the end of the project I hated it more than I liked it. It just became one more task I had to complete in order to finish the class. I know why we were given this project. It was get our minds thinking and keep us in the mindset of always looking for things that we can use in our art. I don’t know. I just don’t enjoy this type of art….accumulation that is. Let me make something out of raw materials. Not something that has already been made. Let me design that which has not yet been designed.

My accumulation proposal:

Part vanity, part truth.
If I had to do this project all over again with different rules and obligations this would be the outcome. I would get a blank journal. Nothing special just a journal. As I went through this process…carrying this book around with me all of the time…I would write down things that I figure out about myself through out the day. Not just words. I could draw pictures. But at the same time I would randomly give it to friends to write things about me. Anything they wanted to. It would be a living journal. If you wanted to bash me , it would be allowed. If wanted to tell me how you really felt about things I say, you could. I would be allowed to read things they wrote and visa versa. I don’t know how long I would keep it going on. Probably indefinitely. Just keep making new journals. Making new friends, making new entries. And then at the end of my life when all is said and done, people could look back at things that I wrote about myself and completely know what it was like to be me or be around me. Then my story would be complete. I would feel completely fulfilled. And I’m sure it would make for some interesting reading. Especially if one day I were to become famous. Then these books could travel the country in an exhibition. Inspiring others to figure out who they are to themselves and who they are to others.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. myself

Entry from a nother one of my firends...whom I consider family.
Fun: Always one at the center of a crowd, you put a skip in the step of those around you.
Kind: Kindness stems from the compassion one has for others, and you most always put others before yourself.
Trustworthy: You are reliable, honest and truthful…The very definition of the word trustworthy.
Dependable: Whenever someone needs a helping hand, yours is the first extended.
Astute: You carry good judgment and think things through instead of jumping into a situation unprepared.
Resiliency: You have the ability to bounce back from the worst situation, prepared and ready for what lies ahead.
Green: I say green not as a color, but as a way of life. Your kindness reaches beyond those around you to the very environment we all live in.
Validity: Your desire to prove yourself has made you into one of the most outgoing people I have ever met. You will always push yourself to be the best you can be.
Proactive: Rather than wait for things to bloom around you, you take the initiative to start things first and carry that fortitude to completion.
Significance: You leave an impression on those around you.
The significance of you being in their lives is subtle, yet your presence is part of what makes those

Accumulation Project: Me vs. myself

Pen/Pencil- I am forever sketching. I think it is a release for everything. It's one of the few times I can zone out.

Eyes- I have always been told I have powerful eyes. They catch peoples attention. But I don't think so. I jsut think eyes are the best way for someone to see straight to y our soul...to tell if you are genuine or not.

Independent-I never want help. My parenst divorced when I was young. I became a latch key kid and I always held all of my emotions in. I have just always felt like I needed to be strong for my parents. And show the world "no matter what it threw at me I could handle it".

I am a very blunt person. I am not affraid to hurt your feelings when it comes to art and design. I will let you know what I think...and I will not sugar coat anything.

Easily amused- I find humor in stupid things. I can't explain it. It just hits me randomly.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. myself

I have always been a complex dreamer. I think I am movitvated, guided, and most importatnly affected emotionally and psychologically by my dreams. They are in-depth, cinematic experiences....it's like I am the director and the actor.

I am a bestfirend to a bunch of people. My friends are as much a part of my family as my blood relatives are...if not more.

I am a Jerk. I'll say it. I think all guys have the ability to be a jerk or an asshole. I can be obnoxious and take things to far. But I try and keep a wrap on things.

I look at my self as being unfinished. I don't know if anyone canever say that their story is complete or they are a complete person until they are dying and look back on all of the things that they have accomplished. At the same...I'm unpolished...still kinda rough around the edges.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This emtry comes from someone whom I have only known for a couple of months.

1. Charismatic- You have a welcoming personality

2. Hard to read- Self Explanatory

3. Passionate-about what you want to do with your life and where you want to go...very enduring quality

4. You tend to question yourself alot--Not a bad thing, but I can definately relate to that one, because we have had conversations about morals and church, and it affects us emotionally and hits harder in the heart then it does with alot of other people in the our society.

5. VERY dedicated to your school work. At least your not a lazy bum and don't expect things to be handed to you. I see you want to get somewhere in life, and it takes dedication to do so.

6. You DEFIANTELY fun to be around. You have morals and standards but at the same time, your not a prude.

7. Forgiving for sure. I have to say I did piss you off that one time, but you looked past it and moved on, and I can tell alot about a person from that sort of situation. Thanks for understanding I was drunk. YOu understand people have to learn from their mistakes and it makes people grow from it. We're all not perfect.

8.Soul is not superficial-again self explanatory

9.Non-Complacent-we talked about traveling and seeing the world. Your not like alot of people who just want to stick around one place and not experience life. You want to travel the world and see everything.

10. Confident in yourself for sure! You know who you are and where you came from and that makes you the person you are. You know what you like, but you still keep your options open and doors open. You don't settle for anything less then what you want.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This next entry comes from my best guy friend. We have known each other for about 13 years now. Grew up together. Played sports together, etc. I would have to say he knows me better than anyoine else. He chose to just generate some words about me.

Self-confident – Never questions himself or his actions and has a strong moral and ethic code.
Loyal – Friends for 13 years, does not get much more loyal than that.
Purposeful – All actions are usually never hesitated upon
Artistic – His photography and graphic design eye has much more going on than what most see on the surface of his projects.
Fun – Great guy to be around, doesn’t care what others think
Athletic – He’s a very physically aware and motivated person whether it be sports, outdoor activities, you name it he’s done it
Giving – Always giving in some form to those around him and never asking for anything in return.
Philosophical – Deep thinker, interesting conversations when the conversations go in that direction.
Creative – Always some abstract idea with his artwork, and he applies such to other things in life as well.
Strong Willed – His demeanor is unwavering, if he believes in something he’ll fight for it.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

This is an entry of items that were given to me by a really close friend of mine. She and I have known each other for 12 years.

1.) a Picture of Me- "It's you! You took your time coming out of you shell."

2.) Picture of the lab puppy- "You loved your dog so much. And even though she passed away recently she was lucky to have been blessed with all of the love, attention, and adoration that you gave her. You give all of your friends the same."

3.) Picture of you & me at your high school graduation- "You and that awful bleached hair...but you've never really cared what anyone else thought of you. This picture represents your self confidence.

4.) Band-Aid "We've been friends for 12 long years and you have always been there when I needed you to through good times and the bad. You jsut have a way of making things better."

5.) Sand Dollar- "Every sand dollar is like a snowflake; no two are alike. The sand dollar represents your individuality.

6.) Picture of you, Philip, Bryan, and me- "As you grow older you begin to realize that your family is what you make it; not just who's blood related to you. We have all shaped who we are today."

7.) Box of colored clips-"There are many different ways that you piece your life together. The different colors represent the different paths you have chosen to take in life and those you have yet to chose."

8.) Pencil- "For your artistic side. You have amazing talent & you will do great things with it one day."

9.) Battery- "Because you are the self-proclaimed energized bunny."

10.) Picture of you & I: "Your ability to make people laugh is truly a gift."

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

I am using this image for a couple of reasons. It represents a number of things about me. I created it a couple of years ago at the beginning of my journey of trying to discover who I am. There are many different sides of me.

There is a time and place for Serious Sheldon and Goofy Sheldon.

There is a time and place for Pissed Off Sheldon and Light Hearted Sheldon.

There is a constant struggle between the Dark side of Sheldon who doesn't have a care in the world and does whatever he wants with no reservations and always puts himself first above all else and Rational Sheldon who cares about too much and puts everyone else before him.

There is "Sheldon" and "Sheldon" and "Sheldon". All three act differently around certain people or in certain situations or environments.

There is Shy Sheldon and Confident Sheldon.

There is In Love Sheldon and Willing to Get Hurt becauce it's Worth it Sheldon and Broken Hearted Sheldon

There is Sheldon who lives in the past and Sheldon who exists in the present and Sheldon who strives towards the future.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

I chose a selection of photographs for some of these entries.
This first one shows that I am the type of person that is easily amused. I can remember when this photo was taken. I was just sitting there eating some corn cooked on the fire and was off in my own little world. It was great. The corn intrigued me for some reason.
I'm also a loner. I grew up an only child. I'm used to being alone. I went on a cruise this past December and my step-mom snapped this photo of me. I wasn't standing with my family. I was off in my own littel world.
I have mysterious side. Like I have this quality about that people want to get to know, because I don't show it or I only show a little bit of it. I felt like this photo portrayed that best.
I am also my mom. I have alot of resentment towards my mother. I feel like in some ways she destroyed my family and happy life that I once had. She caused me a lot of pain, and I had to grow up alot faster than most other kids because of situations I was put in. I try not be everything negative that she is or has been. But at the same time I share the same firey passion for things in life that she has in hers. I won't every be able to get away from it, as fast and as hard as I try to run.
I also want to be a big kid for the rest of my life. I want to be the epitome of a Toys R' Us kid. I still take days off every once in a while and find myself going and playing in the aisles at the Toys R Us.

Accumulation Project : Me vs. Myself

I am and have always been a DUKE Blue Devil at heart. I still dream about playing in Cameron Indoor Stadium. It's once of my most favorite fantasies.
I also have an adventurous attitude towards life. Charlotte is not my final desitination. There is so much of this world that I want to explore.
I am a dog lover. I love all animals, but dogs especially. This is my Chocolatte Lab...Phoenix. She is one of my best friends.
I have discovered over the past couple of years that small things annoy me...especially random things. Like people talking on their cell phones. Somedays I just want to walk up and hit people or I want to take their cell phone and throw across the street or against a building.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This next entry is from my girlfriend. Now let me give some background on this. She and have been dating for about 3 months, but we have known of each other for about 7 years. I say known of because she is my sisters best friend, but we rarely said anything more than "Hello" to each other. And then all of a sudden we started dating. Anyway, I think her perspective is a unique one of me. I'll explain why as this goes on.

A camping tent and sleeping bag because this is me and what I love to do. Be outdoors.

A carving of a bald eagle because of my free spirit, my integrity, and my dignity, Because of my eyes, They possess such an intense power that will pierce through your every being...right to peoples souls.

Because I need to let myself go, let someone love me, value me, and cherish me. I have too much fire in my spirit, too big of a heart, and too beautiful of a soul to keep it all locked up. This is the only one I don't agree with totally. I agree with the spirit, big heart, and soul but not that I keep it all locked up. If she is able to see all that, then how can she think that I have it all locked up? But this is not a experiment to see whether or not people agree with my views of me, its an experiment to see how I portray myself to others. So maybe in this case, this is what I am portraying to her. Someone who needs to open up. But I've never needed to open up. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve.

A moon and a star because I am constantly thinking, constantly dreaming, constantly going places in my mind that are exciting and fulfilling.

A Philadelphia Eagle because I am one...I am a huge huge huge fan.

A pirate because of my adventurous spirit, becuase you have a mind full of wonder; becuase of my love for life, my mischievious edge, and my fearless attitude.

A bottle of Pinot Noir Red wine reminds her of me because it is dark, sexy and mysterious. Now even though I am fair skinned, I think she means my "dark" mysterious personality.

The world because I love to travel and go new places, because I am not going to let anything stop me from fulfilling my dreams, no matter where it may take me.

A conchshell, you can hear the ocean in these...becuase my heart is as deep as the ocean, and because what is underneath the surface is something beautiful and amazing.

A coffee cup doesn't really remind her of me as much, but rather us and our enjoyable first couple of dates that we would spend talking for hours at Starbucks after dinner or a movie.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This is the first exerpt from what others see and view me as. These ten entries come from my parents.
They beleive that I am a well balanced person. Capable of making level headed decision based on logic and strong values/morals.
They also see me as soneone who loves nature. An outdoors man.
The running faucet represents the fact that my mind never turns off. I am always thinking, always creating. Nothing can ever really stop water.
The mountain represents my presence. My parents say that when I walk into a room people notice. My dad has always told me to be careful with this quality, because it can be a great thing and a bad thing to posess. Great being tha you have this commanding presence and people pay attention to you, but bad because you have to work hard to make people realize that you aren't cocky, you are just confident and sincere.
My parents have always said that I fight for what I believe in and more often that not, my views are very different than other peoples perspectives on any given situation.
Given that they have seen me grow up over 23 years, they have come to realize that my personality is very rich, just like this cake.
They also see me as somone always on the go, a mover and shaker of sorts.
Even though I am constantly on the go, they say that I have a calm dispostion.
They see me as a diamond in the rough...more less for a different reason. Brillance of stone relates to brillance of my mind.
They also see me as someone who always has opportunity knocking at my door.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

Just like a snowflake, I am unique. There will never be anyone else in this truly just like me. I embrace that thought. It allows me to take chances with confidence in mind.

I see myself embodying some of the same intellectual characteristics of a Renaissance Man. I don't want to be great at any one thing. I want to be good at everything. I just have this unquenchable thirst for knowledge that can never be satisfied. I want to know about everything...I would be a hit at Dinner Partys. Ha!

I am and will forever be an outdoorsman. My dad used to take me camping when I was younger. Those are my fondest memories of growing up. I love being outside. It is my favorite way to relax. I have realized that when I have reached my limits as Superman, I can always retreat to the mountains, beach, or country, take one step out of my car, inhale that first deep breath of clean untainted air and be completely relaxed instantaniously. I completely let go of everything that I have been holding on to in my mind, and my heart, and in that time...I don't think. Nor do I want or need to. Infact, I can't think. I just...do.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

One word, contemplative. That's what I view this experiment as. I call it an experiment because that's exactly what it is. Yes it's a project. Yes it's an assignment. But is that where I want the thought or emotion invested to stop? No. Like I stated in my blog entry, I like to expand upon my emotions. I need that stimulation and excitement of thinking and contemplating. I live life to understand it. Well thats exactly what I aim to discover with this experiment, a piece of the bigger puzzle I call my life. Over the past 2 years I have been very interested in self discovery. Basically a personal quest to find my identity not only as a person, but also as a designer. I've come to realize that there are two sides to me. A ying and yang of sorts. Everyone is somebody to someone else. I want to uncover the truth about how I'm perceived by people compared to how I believe I am presenting myself. Over the next couple of weeks I will be collecting 100 items that I believe represent me, my personality, beliefs, morals, etc. I'm also asking a collection of 10 very close friends, family members, and not so close acquaintences to collect 10 things each that they think represent me, my personality, beliefs, morals, etc. Brutal honesty is the key to the success of this experiment. I have an opportunity to really find out if I am who I say I am.

What I have established so far...I am my father. Through and through. I am embody so much of him in everything I do, and even though he doesn't have a creative bone in his body we are one in the same.

I am bullheaded. A trait that my father passed on to me. Or it could be because I'm a Taurean. It takes a lot for me to lose my temper, but when I do the horns come out.

I believe that life is one gigantic puzzle. But life doesn't exists on paper, it's not two dimensional. It's something physical, something that has substance. Something you can touch or be touched by. That's why I chose these 3D puzzle pieces.

I took this photo of a styrofoam cup I saw while on a walk. It was alone, dirty, scuffed around the edges, and just thrown out the window as trash. But even through all of that, it's brightness still shines through. I feel like this about mine and my mothers relationship. When she divorced my father and moved away, she did the same thing to me as someone did to this cup. But after all was and is still said and done, I'm still shining, alone, a bit dirty and scuffed around the edges.

I try to be Superman to everyone and everything. I take on way too much. Try to please everyone at the same time. I feel like the weight of the world is always on my shoulders, always in my hands. Even though I can handle most anything in this world, even Superman has his Kryptonite. Mine is my heart.

January 9th-Class Commentary

Concept studio started today. The first thing that I noticed is that Malena brings alot of energy to the classroom. I think a lot of times, or in my past experiences, artists or professors try and overtalk. Meaning they purposefully talk up or use unecessarily large words that you basically never hear in every day conversation for the sake of sounding intelligent. I don't think anyone needs to do this. Half of the time people aren't going to understand what you are speaking of anyway. So talking becomes irrelevant. Malena doesn't do this. I like and respect that. She speaks to you as an educator should. I can tell that she attempts to get down to the students level to see eye to eye with them. She doesn't boast about her intellegence. An admirable quality in any professor.

I find it very interesting that our class is being held in the Storrs building. I have history with this place that exists in every hall, every square inch of thhis building. I studied Architecture here for a couple of years. It brought back some old memories, good and bad. When Malena told us to go see what some of the architecture students were doing, I smiled on the inside. I had been there. I been one of them. Each learning process is different, but in art and design, fundamentals and simple principles apply the same across the board. My mind quickly jumped back to some of the early projects I had worked on while studying at Storrs. Hopefully I can carry over some of those ideas and principles to this class and program.

I am very interested in our projects as described by Malena. Especially the Accumulation project. The gears in my head started turning, and ideas began to form about what I would collect. Over the past 2 years I have been very interested in self discovery. Basically a personal quest to find my identity not only as a person, but also as a designer. I've come to realize that there are two sides to me. A ying and yang of sorts. Everyone is somebody to someone else. So how do I portray myself? Do I portray myself as "me"? Or rather what I have defined as "me"? Do I portray myself as someone or soemthing else? I think with my accumlation project I am leaning towards this idea of self and secondary discovery. I want to collect 100 things that I think embody or represent me, my beliefs, my personality, morals, etc. And then I want 10 family members and friends to collect 10 things each that they think represent me, my beliefs, my personality, morals, etc. I want to compare and contrast the two at the end of this journey.

Testing 1One

Good morning world.