An Incomplete Manifesto for Growth

Drift. I always find myself wandering amlessly. Most days I dont remember how I get from point A to point B. I just arrive. My mind takes me on a mental journey and I'm distracted.
Keep Moving. Well I don't think I will ever have a problem with that. My ideas change daily. No two are the same. Kind of like a snowflake or fingerprint.
Begin anywhere. I love doing this. I start where ever my first thought is at that point. Sometimes I take one step forward and two steps back but somehow I end up reaching the end.
Don't be cool. I don't try to be cool. I exist as me. I am confident in who I am.
Stay up late. I don't have a problem doing this either. MY internal clock as been whacked out since I started college. That's why I try not to plan anything for the mornings.
Don't clean your desk. Well I know where everything is. So I don't clean it. IF I cleaned it I would end up organizing it and putting it somwhere else and then forgetting where I put it.
Explore the other edge. I always try to explore the side that is looked over in the begining phase of a project. Then I stretch that idea to the max.
Laugh. I don't have a problem doing this either. It's healthy for you.
Coffee breaks, cab rides, etc. Iam really intune with what is going on around me all thetime. I play my five senses to catch a glimpse, speck, tast, smell , sounds of something that inspires me. That is half the reason why my brain is always so busy and why I don't know how I get from Point A to Point B.

The Happiest Day of my life

Destroying everything that I owned wouldn't make me happy. I admit that I could do without most things in my life, but there are some things that I could never live without or say goodbye to.I would always want a photo of me and my dad and my dog. I would always want a Duke hat or my North Face Beanie. And I would always have to have my sketchbook and pen. As long as I have those couple things in my life...everyday is the happiest day in my life. I do not feel the need to destroy everything in order to liberate myself from it. Walking away is just as easy. Why would anyone want to destroy everything that makes them "them". Unless they don't want to be them anymore? But destroying the physical objects will never destroy the memories. Unless you destroyed yourself.

The Art World Expands

There is so much attention given to how technology has changed this world. How it has changed the way people, artists etc..view things. How we can express things. I was watching a movie the other night "Live Free or Die Hard" and in the movie our own technology was used against us. It was used to cripple our way of life and everything that we take for granted. What would happen to art then? What would happen to those artists then? Or those spectators? Would they stop producing art? or would they go back to making more traditional forms? Would they go back to thinking that painting and sculpture were the only art?
This article also expresses the views of post modernism in great detail. While reading a couple of things stood out to me. ONe of them was that postmodernists dismiss the idea of this world becoming so artificial. They beleive that secondary images filtered through television, film, and other media now substitue for direct exposure and exert a powerful influence on how we perceieve and understnad the world. I have a huge problem with this. Take for instance a museum that is showcasing works by Van Gogh. But the museum is in France. The showcase will never come anywhere close to where a certain classroom is that is studying about Van Gogh and his paintings. The students will neve have a chance to obtain a direct experience but they can view the exibit on the web through cameras that the museum has set up for web brodcasts. I agree that this is a secondary image. It is not direct experience. But it is the closest that all of these students will ever have at seeing these works of art. Is it not better to have seen somethign second hand than never at all? Or is seeing art only for the privileged?
Also, there is no single style associted with postmodernsim, instead all styles and visual vocabularies are valid and pluralism rules. So if there is no style....then why is there even a classification? Why can't it just be art? I never hear an artist walking around refering to him or herself as a post modernist artist. It is always just "I am an Artist." And this whole jazz about truth and reality not being as truthful or as real as they may seem, is a bunch of bullshit. Anyone who believes this world is truthful is naive. Reality hasn't been real since before the creatiion of reality shows. War is real. It is not truthful. It is probably one of the most deceiving practices on earth. Life is real. You can only be true to yourself. People make their own relaity. People decided whether or not they are going to be truthful. It isn't a cultural byproduct.

The story It Tells

Interesting read. This article is made for the beginner artist. That which does not know how to think. More so...anythign that was stated in this article is common sense. Of course your thoughts and views are going to change according to what the content, context, presenter, artist's meaning, artist's invovlment in the piece, or their involvment in tellign the story. It's all trivial. The story it tells is that of the viewer. The same meaning will never translate the same for all viewers.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

I am using this image for a couple of reasons. It represents a number of things about me. I created it a couple of years ago at the beginning of my journey of trying to discover who I am. There are many different sides of me.

There is a time and place for Serious Sheldon and Goofy Sheldon.

There is a time and place for Pissed Off Sheldon and Light Hearted Sheldon.

There is a constant struggle between the Dark side of Sheldon who doesn't have a care in the world and does whatever he wants with no reservations and always puts himself first above all else and Rational Sheldon who cares about too much and puts everyone else before him.

There is "Sheldon" and "Sheldon" and "Sheldon". All three act differently around certain people or in certain situations or environments.

There is Shy Sheldon and Confident Sheldon.

There is In Love Sheldon and Willing to Get Hurt becauce it's Worth it Sheldon and Broken Hearted Sheldon

There is Sheldon who lives in the past and Sheldon who exists in the present and Sheldon who strives towards the future.

Jan Harrison-Text Reading

I love this statement! "Inspiration is nto a prerequisite for intiating a work of art. It is her destination. Arriving at an inspired state marks the final, culminating stage of this prolonged creative process." I used to feel liek this. Sometimes I still do. I would always have trouble finding that inspiration for certain projects or every project for that matter. I would wait patiently and nervously for that moment of clarity. I too would journey into deep imagination during the creative process. I still do this. I day dream. Think quietly. Think outloud. Build and create, reitterate, remove, destory, breakdown everything in my head before I get it right...before I feel it is perfect. My imagination can be a fearsome place. My creativity can be the same. They are one in the same. Her ideas come from the reptillian brain. She states that thoughts summoned from that area of the brain are out of her control. I don't believe this. I believe at some point you still have control. I think you always have control. I think there is a choice to be made on whether or not you are going to let go. So is she not in control by her choice or by natural law?
How are fantasy and imagination a product of the bodily organs? My appendix doesn't make me dream. I will agree however that human behaivor is often driven by motives that are ego-centered. I react this way alot. I grew up an only child. I had no one to compete with. I was it. I received all of my parents attention. So I got used to receiving all of the attention from everyone all of the time. It has been a real struggle to stop myself from trying to receive all of the attention from anyone. I still catch myself doing this at times...trying to be the center of attention. It does hinder me at times. It states that Harrison counters her narcissim by re-imagining and re-animating her animal soul. So does she ever sucumb to the narcissim? Or does she always rely on her animal soul.

February 27th: Class Commentary

I noticed a couple of things regarding the projects taht we viewed today. They were really good. And it seemed as if a couple of the projects really tapped into a feeling that has been ever present in them. Not that it was there identity that they were presenting but it was more of issues that they had with their everyday identity. For example Matt, what was his alter ego? Was it the dark side or the side that he wears everyday? He stated that he was a hellian growing up. Freud would argue that you never really let go of your childish natures. So wouldn't the hellian/dark side be his true self? And the everday ego is a mask that he wears to hide his true identity. The mask is his alter ego. So who are we really seeing? Matt or MATT?
Then with Brians, I thought it was interesting that he picked an icon such as Superman and Atlas to represent him. The weight of the world. A choice and a duty. Which one do you choose. I refer to myself as Superman alot. I wonder how many other people, men and women, feels this way. I also felt like the candy bowl would have been enough by itself. It gives the sense that your world is still vulnerable to breaking. Or that it has already broken. Given the connotation.
Also I thought it was intersting how jenn kept refering to Barbie as "she". Barbie is not real. It's a doll. But Jenn gave the doll physical manifestation and a persona.

February 25th: Class Commentary

Regarding my project. I felt like I didn't get my point about my project across. I felt rushed with it. Even though I had continually worked on this project for a couple of weeks. I wish I could have shotthe video. It would have tied everything together more. Now that I look back at the project...I feel that the mechanized head would have been enough alone. And it would have been really cool to make the piece light up with the "idea" bulb. I think I may do the video for this next project. Just make it a continuation. I'll have more time to shoot everything and plan it out. I have a big heart. I am guided by my feelings alot. And love is one of those feelings that really affects me. It consumes me. I have a deep passion for those people I love and those that I have loved. And it clouds my head. I think that is one reason my mind is constantly ticking. It is a constant struggle. I'm not thinking about shcoolwork all the time. And when I'm not thinking about schoolwork, I'm fighting through that cloudyness created by my feelings, my emotions. I'm trying to find clarity. The light of day. That is why I titled the piece Mechanized Thought governed by a Heart of Gold. It will be interesting to see what my next phase of this project is.

Identity-Mechanized Thought governed by a Heart of Gold

Media: Mixed media- mainly oldmachine parts, steel.
Size: 4.5'x 2.5'x 2.5'

February 20th, Class Commentary

Are memories held in materials? That was the once question that stood out to me the most while watching this video in class. Do certain memories get triggered by the touch of a material, the taste, sound, smell, or sight? I feel that they do. There have been plenty of times where holding an object has brought back a memory, whether it be mind related or muscle memory. Like when I touch a basketball, I think back to how frustrating it was when my Dad was tryingt o teach me how to shoot properly. Or if I'm at work and I touch a tape gun and box, it's instinctive to tape up the box all the way, even if I know that I should wait because the customer needs to put a card inside.
I noticed that alot of what this artist did was semi performance based. Her art was about the act of making it, and not necessarily the art itself. She wants the viewer to empathize with what she went through to make her art. I guess that is one way to transcend the boundary between artist, art piece, and viewer.

Accumulation Project:Me vs. Myself

I chose a selection of photographs for some of these entries.
This first one shows that I am the type of person that is easily amused. I can remember when this photo was taken. I was just sitting there eating some corn cooked on the fire and was off in my own little world. It was great. The corn intrigued me for some reason.
I'm also a loner. I grew up an only child. I'm used to being alone. I went on a cruise this past December and my step-mom snapped this photo of me. I wasn't standing with my family. I was off in my own littel world.
I have mysterious side. Like I have this quality about that people want to get to know, because I don't show it or I only show a little bit of it. I felt like this photo portrayed that best.
I am also my mom. I have alot of resentment towards my mother. I feel like in some ways she destroyed my family and happy life that I once had. She caused me a lot of pain, and I had to grow up alot faster than most other kids because of situations I was put in. I try not be everything negative that she is or has been. But at the same time I share the same firey passion for things in life that she has in hers. I won't every be able to get away from it, as fast and as hard as I try to run.
I also want to be a big kid for the rest of my life. I want to be the epitome of a Toys R' Us kid. I still take days off every once in a while and find myself going and playing in the aisles at the Toys R Us.

Identity: Project Notes

Personal:

1.) What do you do that makes you feel worthy?
Nothing...worthy of what? Praise? I try hard...artistic ideas come easy to me. Love? From who? Love from the girl I want to be with? Nothing at all and everything at the same time. That is the difference. Love from my parents? I'm their son. An ok son. Not a great one by my standards, maybe theirs. Am I entitled to theit lvoe because I am their son? There are more things that I feel I am entitled to. I am entitled to life life to the fullest. Happiness.

What makes you laugh?
a great commercial. A clever quip. a funny comment. The Geico lizard. The e-trade baby. Samuel L. Jackson because he always yells.

What embarresses you?
Nothing. Well awkward situations.

What infuriates you?
Dumb questions. Fake people. People on cell phones whil in a store. Loud people. People who don't shut up. Random people. Florida. Some memories of my childhood. ignorant people. Cheap rich people. I could on.

What thrills you?
Hiking. Adventure. The thought of adventure.

What comforts you?
A good conversation with a close friend. a cegarette and beer. A hug. Playing the piano. A night at home. The look on my dogs face when she sees me come home at the end of the day. Hearing "I love you" from someone who means it. Sunny days outside.

What mkes you sad?
Not fulfilling my dreams. IF my Dad passed away. Going to work. The fact that I want to see someone special and I can't. Failing. A touching moment in a movie or song.

2.) Transpersonal
Family: Soon, step brother, grandson, nephew, cousing, blood brother, best friend.
Gender: Male
Education: A sixth year senior
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Nationhood: American by birth but no real patriotism
Neighborhood: Uppermiddle class
Race: Human, White
Body Type: Semi athletic/tall/ muscular
Prefered leisure activity: Hiking, chilling
Religious affiliation: Southern Baptist
State of health: got a couple of extra pounds on/ mentally sane
Economic status: fortunate

3.) Context

4.) Home
Feel the most at home at my workplace. Been there almost ten years. Camping around a fire int he woods.

5.) Material
I'm simple. I like what I like. Don't like what I don't like. Buy impulsively sometimes. I dress iin clothes I feel comfortable in. I buy clothes that I think I will always feel comfortable in. Buy food because I need to eat. Sometiimes I treat myself and eat something I wouldn't normaly eat.

6.) Refelcted

7.) Abiding Images
Parents Divorcing.
Being an architecture student.
My last relationship.
Hiking for the first time.
First love.

Text Reading- Scott Greiger

The first passage about Scott Grieger intrigued me. Mainly becuase it taps on a side of my creative inspiration. "Grieger is an artist whoe muse neither soars on imaginative fancy nor burrows into the dark recesses of the soul. Instead, it resides in commonplace experiences andnormal modes of perception. Grieger's mind is stocked with images that are typically ignored during the searches for artistic insight. They are encountered as logos and illustrations." I too gather my inspirations from some logos and illustrations. I have a background in graphic design as well and bad logo excite me. They bother me. They make me want to laugh and cry. To often, nowadays, people buy a program learn how to use it and call themselves a graphic designer. And they never learn actually how to design or create. They learn how to make. But alot of the times their logos or concepts are horrible and sends complete opposite meanings to the viewer. So I wonder what attracts him to logos? What attracts him to illustrations? Why doesn't he tap into thedark recesses of his soul? Is it because he is trying to keep his involvement in the piece to a minimum from the viewers stand point. Like with the Nike symbol. Someone else created the Nike symbol. But Grieger re-created it. So who is the artist. Most people would still think the person who origianlly designed the Nike logo would be the artist. I find it hard to believe that Grieger doesn't tap into his imaginative fantasies. Afterall, a fantasy can be a mere day dream, and a day dream, can be a mere thought, and a thought can be a simple idea. And he obviously had an idea for what else this Nike symbol could be. A "swooshtika". His statement about logos and icons are true..."are potential attitude-benders and opinion modifiers. They consittute a collective language capable of addressing such issues as classdistinctions, ecological respoinsibility, gender identities, and social values. These messages are absorbed without instruction. They infiltrate our minds and often become indiistinguishablefrom thoughts that are self-induced." Just like I love bad logo design. My fasciantion with bad logos is that they haunt me. They speak a different language than well designed ones.

February 18th, Class Commentary

Elizabeth Alexander came to speak to us today. And that's what I felt she did...speak to us...instead of speaking with us. She seemed like she had avery hard time explaining her work. And when she did explain it...it was jumbled, and her iinspirations were always the same. I got tired of seeing tiny drawers. Drawers that you could barely fit a paperclip into. Drawers that did not need to be there. To me they weren't functional, like they were forced. The antithesis of economy. I don't know if it was me, but after a couple of pieces, all of her work started to look very similar. I think it was the medium and the form. And how she locks herself into doing sculptures promarily at one scale. (3.5 ft tall). I did grab and hang on to a couple of things that she said. And they really made sense. And I will list these for anyone else to think about.

Why do we do things?
Who are we making art for?
It is always important to keep making. Not every piece is going to be a masterpiece.
Where is your attachment?
If you aren't in the mood to do something, then do something else different.

I have thought about these things a number times throughout my creative processes. Especially who am I making this for. When I studied architecture, I made things for other people. I missed making things for myself. That's why I changed my major. I consider all of my pieces great because they mean something to me, not because someone else tells me that they are great or terrible. I do things for me. I do things because I have foudn some inspiration. My attachment is to the inspiration. To the idea that I am physically expressing. To the thoughts, the emotions, the big piece of me that I put and leave in my work fro all to see and feel.

Text Reading- Julian LaVerdiere

I love Julians inspiration. It is much like mine. He has described the essence of what it is. "A steady phenomenon that flows continuously, a component of every hour whether or not that hour is devoted to the creation of art. The enrgized mental state is both the product of each artwork and the inspiration for the next one." I do not go looking for inspiration. I let it find me. It could be a rock, a person, a feeling, a completely opposite random thought. Julian states that the woirk has an ability to augment the creative potential of viewers. The way that I work with my art, is somewhat similar to this statemtn. I let myself become a viewer. I analize, not from the artist point fo view from a spectators. It allows me to see things in different lights. Julian states that he strives to establish the inspired state of mind as a mental norm. Well I believe I have come to that point already. I have a very visual mind. I see things that most don't see. But more importantly I let my mind wander. I let it explore, and find its own way. It finds its own mysterys, produces its own curiosity, and stimulates any creative action that I would physically take. My mind lives life through my imagination.

Julian compares himself to Faust. Faust to Julian is a paradigm of inspiration. Hius mission is to create art infused with the perennial power to inspire original achievements in others. But why others? Why not make art for yourself? Why make it for other people? I think when you start making art for others it becomes a job, it is no longer a profession. It takes on a different purpose. I make my art for me. Not for anyone else. Defined below are job and profession. There is a big difference.

job1 /dʒɒb/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[job] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, jobbed, job·bing, adjective
–noun
1. a piece of work, esp. a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price
2. a post of employment; full-time or part-time position
3. anything a person is expected or obliged to do; duty; responsibility
4. an affair, matter, occurrence, or state of affairs
5. the material, project, assignment, etc., being worked upon
6. the process or requirements, details, etc., of working
7. the execution or performance of a task

pro·fes·sion /prəˈfɛʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pruh-fesh-uhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a vocation requiring knowledge of some department of learning or science:
2. any vocation
3. the act of professing; avowal; a declaration, whether true or false: professions of dedication.
4. the declaration of belief in or acceptance of religion or a faith
5. the declaration made on entering into membership or order.


I beleive that Julian has an interesting inspiration subject. The missing chapters in recorded history. Again I kind of find this hypocritical. He finds inspiration in history even in times when he is not devoting himself to art. But isn't art history? A sketch on a napkin I did yesterdya is history. Is there record of it? Not if I throw it away? Well what if I dated it and threw it away? Then there would some discovery to be made later? But then is it still consdered art or trash? He has to devote time to discovering these missing chapters in recorded history to find inspiration for his art. Unless this world operates like the matrix in the sense that he jsut plugs himself up one time and he knows all of the history there ever was for anything. I just find some of the things he say contradictory. But on the other hand I do agree with a couple of key statements. Apathy and boredom are the twin enemies of inspiration. IF you aren't getting out there to experience the world then you will be bored. "You cannot inspire hope without inspiring confidence." So true. You have to have confidence in hope above all else.

pro·fes·sion /prəˈfɛʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pruh-fesh-uhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a vocation requiring knowledge of some department of learning or science:
2. any vocation
3. the act of professing; avowal; a declaration, whether true or false: professions of dedication.
4. the declaration of belief in or acceptance of religion or a faith
5. the declaration made on entering into membership or order.

Text Reading- Yukinori Yanagi

Yukinori explores the attitude of humans toward other living creatures. He chose to inlist an animal as his equal, his artistic collabortor. I find this idea intriguing. There is a blurred line between who or what is actually creating art. Yanagi chose to create art with an ant. An insect that is normally considered neither beautiful, indiciduated, endearing, nor directly useful to human entrpises. But ants are useful, just not in the modern world. Ants pinchers were comonly usedas seuchers for wounds by some tribes. Also if you took a look at some metropolitan areas from above, like New York, places that have subways, and heirarchy, these places resemble ant like societys. I have to agree though with it is the ant and not the artist who determines the linear configuartion of the resulting drawing. This is only a portion of the ant's perspective. But laying down the steel beams, the ant is closed off and unable to explore fully. There are boundaries. Should there be limits of the resulting drawing. If you really want to give the viewer the ant's perspective then let the ant be free. Trace it's path then.

We human's act like an ant all of the time and we do not know it. The ant is part of a society where he is a team plyer, no individualism. He is a worker, a soldier, etc. He is Bob Ant. There are many Bob Ants. Just as there are many Toms and Bills. That is how our society is.

"Either may assume the role of art catalysts or collaborator." I would have to say that the Artist is the artist. He thought of the idea. An ant would never think to have a crayon follow behind him tracing his steps. There is no need for it. Nor is there a need to show what it's like traveling the path of the ant. It's a confined path. Yanagi states himself that there is a dense concentration of lines and color near the borders of the piece. That's because the ant is not free. He is look for a way to get out. He is limited in performing his duties. He states that An;t are totally different from us even though we function the same. How? How are they different? They seem really similar to me other than physical make up. Maybe they watch our relentless labors and think, are they tired? Are they hungry, Are they forced? We look at other humans and can tell that instaniously sometimes. I don't think ant's have a perfectly functioning society. There is no individualism. And much of humanity is the same way. There are the selct few that are fire ants, and blaze their own path in life. An't don't know national boundaries, but they do know boundaries. They do have enemies. They kill other ants. The difference between ants and humans becomes blurred even more.

Text Reading-Kim Jones

The topic of this read was Inventing Biography-Fictionalized Fact and Factualized Fiction. I chose this a my first read based off of my interest in the title. They are contradictory of each other. Can something be true and asl ofalse at the same time. Modernity would say no. That is why certain things fall under Fact and Fiction. More or less fact and fiction refer to reading primarily, so is what I'm reading fact or fiction? Does it really exist to serve a purpose? Or is the fact in fiction presented supposed to be about the artist's work?

I found it interesting that Kim JOnes demonstrates that the human self need not be singular. Himself expandsinto themselves, because he tranforms himself into his alter ego. But when I read this statement it translates to me a dismissel of indivudalism. "The human self need not be singualr." Why should it not be singular. Plenty of people are look to find themselves on a journey of self expploration. I know I am. He discusses that alter egos are true and complimentary beings. I do agree with this. Many times in our day to day lives people strive to be someone different than who they really are. But are they acting? Are they pretending? Soon they assume the totaly identity of who they want to become and have become, to a point where they nor you can distinguish between who they were and who they are. But is that an alter ego taking over? Or is it jsut the physical manifestation of evolution?

I find his theatrical perfomance of "Mudman" very hipocritical. At one point in the discussion he makes several statements that go against his argument of art. Adding mud changed me. It was like "adding another skin, making him closer to the stick and the cheesecloth" transformed him into something. Did he want to be MUdman or he want to be mud andsticks. Either way he was acting. A tree is animate. A stick is inanimate, it is no longer alive, no longer attached. A human being is alive, there fore he is trying to act inanimate like these objects, but he walks around in this suit. Giving life back to something that is still dead. He also states that "Mudman doesn't have a personality or a mission." But he then contradicts himself by saying earlier in the chapter that Mudman isa conversational piece, it forces Jones to stand out and force him to tlak to people. So Mudman does have a purpose. Art has a purpose. Art makes people think, feel, talk. BY him saying that Mudman has no mission, he is saying that Mudman is not art. Therefore Mudman is just an act.

I think Jones really is a lunatic. He even states that he "lost all of his marbles" at one point. He lit rats on fire. "When they were buring and screaming, I bent down and screamed with them. I don't know whether it helped them or not. They were scapegoats for my pain." Why not inflict pain upon yourself then? Unless you are afraid to. If he was bothered by the facts that rats crawled all over him in the war then he should have gotten those rats from Vietnam, trapped them in the jungle and used those in his performance. He jsut made an ambiguous choice. There is no lineage, no connection. He basically just burned rats. He didn't burn the rats that tormented him. In all of those gangster movies there is a statement that is always made " I will kill you and then I'm gonna go after your wife, and your kid's and the rest of your family, until all of you are dead, and or suffering." Jones totally bypassed that idea and settled for ambiguity. He less of an artist and less of a human being for harming something innocent in my book.

He makes only one statement in this whole chapter that I agree with. "I like when people are nice to me, but the world seems, for the most part and aggressive place. If you are weak, it will kill you. That's just the way it is all over the world. Something you think is weak is really sneaky." Do not turn your back on the world.

I agree with onl

Accumulation Project : Me vs. Myself

I am and have always been a DUKE Blue Devil at heart. I still dream about playing in Cameron Indoor Stadium. It's once of my most favorite fantasies.
I also have an adventurous attitude towards life. Charlotte is not my final desitination. There is so much of this world that I want to explore.
I am a dog lover. I love all animals, but dogs especially. This is my Chocolatte Lab...Phoenix. She is one of my best friends.
I have discovered over the past couple of years that small things annoy me...especially random things. Like people talking on their cell phones. Somedays I just want to walk up and hit people or I want to take their cell phone and throw across the street or against a building.

February 13th- Class Commentary

I was working on a graphic design program last semester where I was given the task of using design to change the world. Through my research, I discovered Bruce Mau's efforts and actually contacted him through email to see if he could give me any guidance...but I never heard a response from him. Punk.

In response to Oliver Herring's work. When he spoke of the mundane...how he was enthrawled in this pience for over 10 years after a respected artist committed suicide, I thought about things a bit further with regards to repition. I understand that it was meditative to him, but at the same time I think it became more. He spoke about changing roles. I think the knitting was much more than jsut repitious and meditative. It was a constant in his life. I don't think that it was ever discussed whether or not the artist who committed suicide was a friend or not. Obviously it could have been given Herring's response. But knitting was a constant. He had control over it. He decided when it was done, when he was ready to end the process, end it's life, end the journey. He shifted from a viewer to the creator, the controller. He didn't have this control over the suicide of the artist. Maybe he sought and found comfort in this act of control.

I agree that playing is a big part of being human, and it tends to get left out of the academic experience. I actually was unhappy with studying architecture for this reason. It wasn't fun anymore. I was serious. I don't want to be serious. I want to enjoy things. I want to enjoy the act of creating simply to create what my heart fantasizes about. If I ever opened up a design school, this act of enjoyment and fun would be incorporated in to curriculum and experience. I have discussed this topic with a couple of my friends and former professors...how things are taught wrong. No one ever needs to forget the kid inside of them. That was the purest your imagination has ever been. I mean you can pick up a stick and pretend its a sword, or that a box is a space helmet. There were endless possibilities, and that's what education should be like.

February 11th- Class Commentary

My identity...who am I? I know one thing that have always been and will always be. It is best expressed in a song written by the band Kings of Leon. The lyric is "stand up to the giant, say that I'm a fighter, be to dumb to surrender". That statement has had the biggest impact on me. I've realized that I never know when to say "No".

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This next entry is from my girlfriend. Now let me give some background on this. She and have been dating for about 3 months, but we have known of each other for about 7 years. I say known of because she is my sisters best friend, but we rarely said anything more than "Hello" to each other. And then all of a sudden we started dating. Anyway, I think her perspective is a unique one of me. I'll explain why as this goes on.

A camping tent and sleeping bag because this is me and what I love to do. Be outdoors.

A carving of a bald eagle because of my free spirit, my integrity, and my dignity, Because of my eyes, They possess such an intense power that will pierce through your every being...right to peoples souls.

Because I need to let myself go, let someone love me, value me, and cherish me. I have too much fire in my spirit, too big of a heart, and too beautiful of a soul to keep it all locked up. This is the only one I don't agree with totally. I agree with the spirit, big heart, and soul but not that I keep it all locked up. If she is able to see all that, then how can she think that I have it all locked up? But this is not a experiment to see whether or not people agree with my views of me, its an experiment to see how I portray myself to others. So maybe in this case, this is what I am portraying to her. Someone who needs to open up. But I've never needed to open up. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve.

A moon and a star because I am constantly thinking, constantly dreaming, constantly going places in my mind that are exciting and fulfilling.

A Philadelphia Eagle because I am one...I am a huge huge huge fan.

A pirate because of my adventurous spirit, becuase you have a mind full of wonder; becuase of my love for life, my mischievious edge, and my fearless attitude.

A bottle of Pinot Noir Red wine reminds her of me because it is dark, sexy and mysterious. Now even though I am fair skinned, I think she means my "dark" mysterious personality.

The world because I love to travel and go new places, because I am not going to let anything stop me from fulfilling my dreams, no matter where it may take me.

A conchshell, you can hear the ocean in these...becuase my heart is as deep as the ocean, and because what is underneath the surface is something beautiful and amazing.

A coffee cup doesn't really remind her of me as much, but rather us and our enjoyable first couple of dates that we would spend talking for hours at Starbucks after dinner or a movie.

February 6th- Class Commentary

Today, we attended the Mint Museum of Craft and Design. I found the exhibition really interesting. I myself, am normally not attracted to tapestry art. it is just not my preferred medium. But, I feel that in a lot of ways the artists stretched the limits of the materials. My favorite piece was the almost Art Neuveau type Japanese style piece with the blue circle templates. I loved that piece and it caught my eye as soon as we got off of the elevator. I couldn't wait to move around the exhibit and get to that particular piece. I loved how you could stand in front of it and the blue circles almost looked like mirrors and you couldn't tell if the opaque images you wre looking at were behind youor on the other side of the linen. That, And I love the color blue.

I also found myself not really listening to the museum curator speach about each piece. I would finda connection with the pieces and tune everything else out, like I was the only one in the museum, and this exhibit was here just for my experience. I wandered around without the group, mainly taking my own tour and trying to figure what I felt and what the artist was trying to convey. It was agreat experience in my opnion, class included or not.

February 4th- Class Commentary

What is the nature of self? What does it mean to be human? Who am I as a unique individual? These are tough question that I honestly do not know how to answer. Other than who am I as a unique individual, I have never thought of what it means to be human. Why should I? How should I? I am a human. I know nothing other. Perhaps if I believed in the idea of reincarnation I would have a better grasp on this idea. If I had been human in one life time, and then I became a tree in other, what would I think? Would I look out at other human walking by, longing to be walking amongst them again? Longing to feel what they feel? To be able to walk my heart through fire and emotions? Or literally walk through life just taking up space. I am taking up space as this tree. But I have another purpose. I provide shelter from the sun, well so did my hand covering my face when I was human. When kids climb on me I can feel their touch, their warm embrace...but is it the same as holding someones hand? I have things carved in my trunk, memories of a special time and place, but I had one of those with a tatoo. I am firmly rooted in the ground, but wasn't I grounded with my strong morals? I sway in the wind, weather out the storm...but I did that as well when I hit that rouch patch in my human life. I freeze, I burn, I turn to ash just like a human would. I can produce offspring, seedlings if you will. I can break, I can snap...crack. I am big and strong. I am standing alone on this hill, just like I did when I hiked that mountain. I get crapped on, well that's nothing new....damn birds.

January 30th-Class Commentary

Interpret: to make meaningful connections between what you see in a work and what else you have seen/experienced.

This act of interpretation, I've noticed, always takes me a while. I basically look as if I am staring really hard or blankly at a piece..I'm really not though, it's a complext process. I don't like to just out right express what's on my mind when I look at something. I like to have this inner dialogue play out, basically I'm agreeing and arguing with myself. I was walking with Rachel earlier to class and we were discussing critiques. She made a comment to me that really made me think. "Sheldon, you always have the most interesting things to say about a piece of work, and what you do say is completely different from what anyone is thinking, almost as if you are able to see things in not only this light but several others. It's a great ability to have."

Maybe this inner dialogue I have with myself is my way of looking through thr different lights.

Accumulation Project: Me vs. Myself

This is the first exerpt from what others see and view me as. These ten entries come from my parents.
They beleive that I am a well balanced person. Capable of making level headed decision based on logic and strong values/morals.
They also see me as soneone who loves nature. An outdoors man.
The running faucet represents the fact that my mind never turns off. I am always thinking, always creating. Nothing can ever really stop water.
The mountain represents my presence. My parents say that when I walk into a room people notice. My dad has always told me to be careful with this quality, because it can be a great thing and a bad thing to posess. Great being tha you have this commanding presence and people pay attention to you, but bad because you have to work hard to make people realize that you aren't cocky, you are just confident and sincere.
My parents have always said that I fight for what I believe in and more often that not, my views are very different than other peoples perspectives on any given situation.
Given that they have seen me grow up over 23 years, they have come to realize that my personality is very rich, just like this cake.
They also see me as somone always on the go, a mover and shaker of sorts.
Even though I am constantly on the go, they say that I have a calm dispostion.
They see me as a diamond in the rough...more less for a different reason. Brillance of stone relates to brillance of my mind.
They also see me as someone who always has opportunity knocking at my door.